One year later

One year ago my grandpa passed away suddenly from this earth.

On Thanksgiving. 

His favorite holiday of the year.

It's been a year.

One. Year.

I really miss him.

When I call my grandma's house, and I get her answering machine, my heart stops as I hear my grandpa's voice telling me to leave a message.  "Grandpa ... I miss you.  I love you."  I want to say, hoping that he can hear me. 

Several weeks ago I had a pretty hard day.  We opened up a jar of apple butter that my grandparents made.  That afternoon, while cleaning, the Blue Angels were practicing formations outside -- my grandpa loved air shows and took me to my first and only air show when I was a little girl.  I remember his smile that day.  He was a pilot, and he loved his airplanes.  He took my brother & I up in his airplane one day, showing us tricks that airplane pilots love to do.  We did rolls and dips.  I was frantic, my brother became alive. 

I know that God has a plan for each and every one of us.  It brings me great comfort knowing that someday I will see my grandpa again.  That I will one day see all my loved ones that will eventually pass from this world.  I have had several dreams about my grandpa.  In one of my dreams, I ask him how he's doing, and he said "I'm happy!  I'm doing great!  I feel great!" 

I'm glad my grandpa is no longer in pain, no longer suffering from his injuries or health conditions. 

I saw this poem, and I immediately loved it:

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there.  I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awake in the morning's hush

I am the swift upflinging rush

Of quiet birds in circling flight

I am the soft star-shine at night

Do not stand at my grave and weep.

I am not there.  I did not die.