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Saturday, January 30, 2010

...growing pains

Lately I've been hearing the dreaded words every mother eventually hears.
"That's SO unfair!"
"Why can't I? Everyone ELSE is doing it!"
"so-and-so mom's is letting them do it!"

::sigh::

My daughter has really been trying to grow up. I know she's got to grow up, but the world is not the same place as it once was when I grew up. My parents used to let me hang out with my best friend Carrie, and we would walk to Dairy Queen, or to our cemetery (which was FAR away)... all by ourselves. We were in 6th grade. We could play outside in our front yard, run to neighbor's houses to play, and enjoy ourselves. I had slumber parties, I spent the night at my friends... I had a wonderful childhood.

Can't do that any of those things anymore. I can't trust this world we live in, and let my girls out in the front yard to play because of people who have chosen to do things unthinkable to children. I can't let my children... be children. I have to carefully screen the parents of my children's friends, to make sure their values are similar to mine... to see if they have the same concerns that I have. I have to constantly ask my oldest daughter "is so & so's parent there? Otherwise, you cannot go to their house!" Kids get into so much trouble these days.

But, I CAN, teach my girls WHY I have the rules I have for them. For example, Katie wants a Facebook page. I will not allow her to have a Facebook page. Why? It's harmless you may say. Well, if one would look at the rules of Facebook, a person has to be 13 years old. If I allow my daughter to have a Facebook page before she's 13 years old, I'm teaching her to be dishonest -- to lie about her age so she can have a Facebook page. When a company has rules in place, they're generally there for a reason. I know parents can monitor their children, but I'm still holding my ground and teaching her a valuable lesson. To be an honest human being, to listen to others & respect others. Our church (the LDS Church) strives to teach the basic principle of being honest (Article of Faith #13 "We believe in being honest....")
.... so yes, I am THAT parent...

Now, I'm bound to make mistakes along this road we call parenthood. I know I'm not going to be the most popular parent out there. I'm not aiming for my child to be the most popular kid in school, and will do anything to get her there. I am aiming for my child to be able to think for herself, to stand up for herself, and to stand up for what she believes in.

I will slowly release this leash I have on my girls... but an inch at a time. If that makes me a mean mother, so be it. If that means I'll be listening to my girls tell me things like "that's SO unfair!"... so be it. I'm ready for this ride called parenthood. I'm headed towards the tunnel called "PreTeens & Teenagers... enter at your own risk". Hold on for your dear life with me! We CAN make it through this!

5 comments:

  1. You are an awesome mom. I dread the day I start hearing those very same phrases. We live in such a scar world that we really do need to be careful with our children. So go you for protecting yours! :)

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  2. I'm just glad you get to go through it first! Then, I can ask you what to do when I am dealing with my Miss T being a pre-teen and teenager. Thanks for leading the way, my friend!

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  3. Teenager years, YOU have so much to look forward too! :)

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  4. You're not alone. I'm one of those moms too. I just try to make sure that they know I love them, No Matter What. If they call, I'm there to pick them up.

    Oh, I highly encourage you to go through the "For Strength of Youth" with Katie. It's great and gives scripture references to back you up.

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